Location: Washington, D.C.
The Skinny: In the leafy D.C. neighborhood of Forest Hills, this newly constructed four-bedroom stone 'n' stucco manse is just the place for a Hollywood-bred activist. There's the decidedly—and unabashedly—"West Coast Contemporary" style to the place, and the nearly fully enclosed courtyard pool, perfect for scandalous soirees beyond the prying eyes of paparazzo. Then there are the interiors, with ceiling-scratching palm trees, a screening room, and tabletop sculptures all too reminiscent of certain Clockwork Orange phallus. That's not the only questionable touch in this newly constructed and meticulously staged home. The master bedroom features a wall coated in chalkboard paint, which is scrawled with the tres suggestive French phrase, "Voulez vous jouer avec moi?" (Look it up.) To answer your question, Frenchie, we'd love to—but we just can't swing the $5.9M price tag. Though this might not be the spot for Rand Paul—hey, Rand, we already found you a place!—the next Sean Penn could find some liberal California comfort here.
· 3017 Gates Road [Koitz Group]
· Buttoned-Up English Tudor That Rand Paul Should Call Home [Curbed National]