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Buy a Magical Couch "So Dope You'll Be Swimming in Babes"

Joy of joys, a fella in Northern Mississippi has taken to Craigslist to adventurously market a used couch, for which he is asking $200. According to the seller, this leather-and-suede couch, "espresso in color" and far from just your average saggy sofa, possesses a whole bunch of awesome magical powers. He's even "added a pic of what will probably happen if you own this couch" as proof (shown). About those magical powers:

· "Seriously, this couch is so dope you'll be swimming in babes (or dudes, if you're a chick)"
· "My neighbor's dog sat on this couch once, and it was so agreeable to him that he instantly gave birth to 8 puppies"
· "Once, a girl came over and took one look at the couch then she dropped to one knee and proposed (I said no, she seemed a little superficial, duh)"

· "If you spill your drink while on the couch, the couch will spill it back into your cup"
· "You can have a pillow fight with the five new girlfriends you will get when you are the brand new owner of this satisfying couch"
· "Even Obama and Bush can agree on how patriotic this couch is"
· "President Lincoln, RIP, can't lie about how pleasantly soothing this couch is"

· Like New Couch - 1 year old, non smoking, clean - $200 (Columbus, MS) [Northern Mississippi Craigslist via Reddit]