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Opulent, Extravagant Monstrosities from the Great White North

We've always thought of our neighbors to the north, the Canadians, as a sensible people with a flair for coping with harsh winters without that very American need for flashy extravagance. We were wrong. Turns out the Canadians have been secretly amassing a serious portfolio of over-the-top estates, most of them built during the last boom, with a great many left lingering on the market with mult-milliondollar price tags attached. This is one of the worst offenders, a waterfront behemoth in Senneville, Quebec, a suburb of Montreal, currently listed for $15M. The brokerbabble claims this 25,000-square-foot, 10-bed, 13-bath megamansion is eco-friendly, but we have a hard time believing that any single-family home of that size could be considered "green." Equipped with an elevator, indoor swimming pool, two kitchens, two dining rooms, a racquetball/basketball court, a boathouse, and a stable, this is one immodestly opulent Canadian estate. Needless to say, the castle-esque architecture isn't anything to rave about either.

? Distingushed—or rather, disgraced—by a two-story great room with towering fireplace and cheap-looking furnishings and artwork, this $12M mansion in Calgary, Alberta, lies on a similarly lame one-acre lot. Sure, the views of the surrounding countryside is great, but being nestled up next to your neighbor isn't the most desirable feature at this price point. The 9,300-square-foot house has five bedrooms and 13 bathrooms and boasts an 800-square-foot yoga studio, professional-quality spa, and a media room.

? This high-priced Alberta mansion takes local cultural influences to a new low, utilizing tribal-themed columns to support the towering foyer. This one does have some redeeming qualities, like the pair of fireplaces crafted from enormous stone blocks, but the cliched mountain materials and ridiculous stone grottos in the basement detract from the whole. Known as The Cairns on the Bow, this 11,100-square-foot manse is on the market for $11.9M.

? Have you ever wondered how much glossy, polished wood could be packed into one house? For the answer, head up to Lac-Brome, Quebec, where this $9M manor is the gold standard. Truth be told, the over-abundance of wood paneling might be the best part of this overwrought mansion. Built in 2002, it's a pretty clumsy attempt at replicating a British country home. Luckily, the sale price includes 140 acres, so there's plenty of space to build a decent looking house.

? Out west in British Columbia, the market for high-end houses is still humming, thanks to an influx of Asian buyers, but that doesn't excuse this 14,400-square-foot monster in Burnaby, just outside of Vancouver. Listed for $12.8M, the large house is shoehorned onto a 1.38-acre lot but manages to squeeze in a tennis court, swimming pool, "mature gardens with imported trees and shrubs, English rose garden, covered fireplace sitting area & BBQ," and even a caretakers cottage. Unsurprisingly, the glassy sorta-Georgian estate lacks any real architectural appeal.

· 200 Ch. de Senneville [Sotheby's]
· 44 Aspen Ridge [Sotheby's]
· Canmore Castle [Sotheby's]
· Tredilion Park [Sotheby's]
· 7629 Burris [Sotheby's]