Without a hint of holiday cheer, Men's Health released a report on America's saddest cities last week, based on suicide and unemployment rates, along with the percentage of households that use antidepressants and the percentage of citizens that report suffering from depression. But if they're feeling down in the dumps, they're not necessarily living in dumps, we've found luxurious homes in each of the top—or is it bottom—five cities. That shouldn't be taken to mean these places are good looking. Surprisingly, given the Guiness-record-setting quanitiy of sunshine, St. Petersburg, Fla. is America's saddest city. Maybe this waterfront mansion, built in 1990 for the largest Taco Bell franchisee in Florida, has enough luxury to counteract the undercurrent of depression in this sunny locale. Just be prepared to pay for it, $3.95M to be exact.
? After the Floridian surprise, here's one city we were fully expecting to turn up on this list: Detroit. But, for some of the same reasons that #2 Detroit has seen such depression, there's a soft spot in our hearts for the city. Where else can the value-oriented buyer pick up a robber-baron-style mansion for $700K? That's how much the seller is charging for the Vandusen Mansion, a seven-bed, nine-bath, 10,400-square-foot brick Tudor. Then again, that only seems like a deal until one notices what the place went for back in 2008: $242K.
? When you see Memphis, Tenn. at number three on the "Saddest" list, it's suddenly clear why blues music has had such a strong following here. Still, the robust music industry here has fueled a luxury property market to rival much larger cities, and these aren't artifacts from a previous era. This $4.95M French Norman-inspired mansion was built just ten years ago and packs 10,000 square feet of living space into the beige walls. Plus, it lies within a gated community known as The Cloisters, so run-ins with the depressed and poor are kept to a minimum.
? The Sunshine State makes its second ignominious appearance at #4 with Tampa, Fla. Despite all the frowns around town, this city is home to a glut of milliondollar mansions. This one, an Italian-inspired spread complete with a private campanile, is asking $3.9M for its 7,200 square feet, bayfront lot, and "Port-A-Cache," which we presume isn't a mobile toilet, but rather a porte-cochère.
? Coming in at #5, Louisville, Ky. is the fourth Southern city to make this list. That's either a sign of serious regional problems or shoddy stats. Either way, the equestrian community continues to flock to Louisville and the surrounding countryside, bringing their millions with them. This five-bed, seven-bath mansion has 9,000-square-feet of space for humans to go with a sizable barn and riding ring for the horses. Asking price: $6.25M.