Welcome to Moonlighting, a new Curbed column in which the talented Raina Cox of If the Lamp Shade Fits takes a look at design players whose first job may not have been design. Some triumph, some flop, and some should never, ever give up their day job.
The Sunshine State's most famous high-end house flipper, Robert Van Winkle a.k.a "Vanilla Ice," just wrapped season one of his DIY Network reality show The Vanilla Ice Project. (Some of his work can be viewed in the photogallery above, and head over here for a glimpse of the series premiere's storyboard.) After wisely investing his early rap music money in real estate, Ice has been building, renovating, and re-selling million dollar-plus properties for more than 13 years.
Instead of a lengthy investigative post about all things Ice, let's turn our baseballs caps to the side and hum a little Bowie and Mercury...
All right, stop, collaborate and listen
Ice is back with a brand new invention
Flipping houses grabbed hold of him tightly
Foreclosed McMansions rarely done rightly
Will it ever stop, yo? I don't know
There's a season two, so I guess "No"
To the extreme, he rocks a demo like a vandal
Lights up a chandelier and ponders which handle
A big home theater with speakers that boom
Why does every house now need such a room?
Deadly wiring is harder than rapping dope melody
Anything less than a citation should be a felony
Love it or leave it you know you wanna see
More than just for the tatted Ice devotee
If there's a problem, yo, his crew will tackle it
Check out the hook while the drywaller spackles it
CHORUS
Ice ice baby vanillla (x4)
Now that the reno is jumpin'
With the walls kicked in and the hammers a'thumpin'
Quick to the point to the point no fakin'
Ice picked a double oven for bakin'
Fire pods and mood lighting seduce the honeys
Infinity edge pool screams "Big Money!"
Rollin' in a rented backhoe
Windows down so his hair can blow
Some firemen on standby waving just to say hi
Will Ice ever stop? No, his work's too fly
He will keep on pursuing McMansions
'Cause, yo, Vanilla Ice is always hands-on
The block was dead, nothing but foreclosures
Florida's ruined financial disclosures
Where girls once roamed in less than bikinis
The repo man's taking Lamborghinis
If there's a problem, yo, his crew will tackle it
Check out the hook while the drywaller spackles it
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla ice
Yo man let's get out of here
Word to your mother
Ice ice baby too cold
Ice ice baby too cold too cold (x2)
Ice ice baby
· The Vanilla Ice Project, DIY Network show [official site]
· Oh, Baby: The Vanilla Ice Project Storyboard, Revealed! [Curbed National]
· If the Lamp Shade Fits [official site]
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