“This is Los Angeles where money and style are everything.” So sayeth interior designer Mary McDonald in the opening of Bravo’s newest reality series, Million Dollar Decorators. The show follows the professional and personal lives of five of L.A.'s top-tier interior designers, whose clients don't have budgets and who say things like “Sometimes I think my job is more important than the President of the United States.” This week, Raina Cox If the Lamp Shade Fits is off at a conference; we've pulled all the best one-liners of the show and some video clips.
· Martyn Lawrence-Bullard on the wall hanging over client Tamara Mellon's bed: "That piece that was bought in Istanbul that actually ended up being a circumcision cloth—a golden-thread circumcision cloth (?)."
· Jeffrey Alan Marks on fending for himself: "I must have starved to death before I met [boyfriend] Ross. I think that's why I had abs until I was 40."
· Jeffrey on cooking: "For some reason when it comes to the kitchen i'm useless. I open wine or I do cheese plates—that's my idea of cooking."
· "Ross on the luxe life: If I can work out and have a good meal and not do too much of anything, I'm happy."
· Mary on freedom of choice: "I'm presenting [client] Jill with three distinct color schemes so she feels like I addresses all her ideas, but I've got one in there that I want her to choose."
· Mary on client relations: "I knew what I was doing when I put that color board together. It's exactly what I talk about when I say people don't know what they want. I know what they want."
· Kathryn on client Shannon Factor's Malibu house: "I always find it extraordinary how much bad taste there is out there. The bedroom is dated; it just looks like a generic hotel room (?)."
· Mary on colleague relations: "I actually really like that [project manager] Nancy always has the opposite opinion because the fun part is she immediately changes her mind after a few seconds and goes, 'OK! That's fine!'"
· Mary on diagonal flooring in client Jill's house (?): That looks like a real pot-smokin', like, yeah.
· Kathryn on basic rules of decorating: "A room is only successful is not one thing jumps out at you."
· Kathryn on commitments: "I cannot remember to take my poor children to the doctor, but I guarantee I'll remember the pattern and color."
· Mary on basic rules of decorating: "I know what formulas work in a room, I know how many patterns to use, I know how many colors to use, I know what ultimately works out to achieve a sense of balance. I just need people to stop grabbing the paint brush while I'm painting the painting."
· Jeffrey on learning to cook a goat cheese/cipollini onion tart: "So if I'm making double of this, do I double the recipe or do I make it twice?"
· Mary on the supernatural: "You know that I love talking to the dead. I like the whole idea of it."
Other highlights from the episode:
Video: Kathryn's knit dress bowling over a gay man:
Martyn and Tamara Mellon gushing over acrylic boxes:
Jeffrey and his assistant working the kitchen:
· Episode One: the Osbournes, Divorce, and Snotty Guacamole [Curbed National]
· Episode Two: Hypnotism, a Pick-Up Truck, and Really Old Tile [Curbed National]
· Episode Three: Body Issues, a Sweaty Joe Francis, and Bird Poop [Curbed National]
· All Million Dollar Decorators coverage [Curbed National]
· If the Lamp Shade Fits [official site]