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Obscenely Expensive Outdoor Furniture For Every Al Fresco Need

Outdoor spaces are nice to look at, but true enjoyment comes only from parking thy caboose somewhere in them and, perhaps, sipping on cocktails. Which brings us to the first item in this roundup of absurdly expensive modern outdoor furnishings, the Amax outdoor floor lamp from Design Within Reach. The large model towers 7'10" tall and weighs around 150 pounds, deliberately "over-scaled for an impactful installation." How's this for impact: Amax asks $6,120 for the small (6'8") and $7,440 for the large. Let there be light!


? Top-grade aluminum went into making Viesso's Luxembourg bar cart, which asks an impressive $844. Why the hefty price tag for a wheeled thing that barely grazes the hip? Per the description, the paint consists of "DuPont® powder, 100% polyester, anti-UV, deposited electrostatically on the furniture, then baked at 193°, like in the car industry."


? German-born industrial designer Konstantin Grcic used powder-coated steel to fashion the Pallas table, which looks smooth but is actually, well, not. Not visible in the photo include textural details such as "kinks and notches which break up and give life to the smooth lines, the screwed joints on the underside, the tactile appeal of the slightly coarsened, powder-coated metal surface." Such flowery babble comes at a price: $4,959 for the small model and $7,130 for the large.


? Summer days spent outside aren't supposed to be too taxing, and the Thinking Man's Chair, designed by renowned furniture designer Jasper Morrison, allows "either a man or woman to relax and contemplate life's greatest questions." Varnished metal bars create a slightly inclined silhouette, while armrest trays encourage tippling in all its forms. Price? $2,143.


? Miami-based sustainable furnishings firm Project Import Export designed Tonecoon, a chaise with attached side table constructed from water hyacinth and rattan. If it looks slightly uncomfortable, fear not: there's a cushion included in the lofty $4,000 price tag.

· Amax Outdoor Floor Lamp [DWR]
· Luxembourg Bar [Viesso]
· Pallas Table [Hive Modern]
· Thinking Man's Chair [Hive Modern]
· Tonecoon by PIE [Vivavi]