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"Most Kick-Ass Fucking Roommate That Ever Lived" Seeks Home

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Enthusiasm is rare on sleepy, sweltering Friday afternoons, which is why the person who took to Craigslist with an unbridled zest for life deserves some due attention. The posting, which first surfaced on Gizmodo, was written by a 25-year-old "professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York Fucking City." (Sorry to offend, but the F-bomb appears 16 times in his ad. Brace.) Anyway, this fella is headed out to San Francisco and has $1,000 per month to spend on shared housing. Some of his selling points: he turns off lights, he cleans toilets, he even cooks—"I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT." Plus—and this is really a big one—he's not racist: "A lot of people ask me, 'Hey, you're from Alabama. Are you racist?' And, the answer to that question is, no. I'm not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I'm a secular humanist. I FUCKING LOVE PEOPLE." He implores interested parties to email him, after which he'll provide all his vital stats: "I'll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die." We're done with this clown: just read the full post below.

· $1000 Best. Roommate. Ever. [Craigslist San Francisco via Gizmodo]