On Thursday, the world will watch with bated breath as the rowdy castmates of MTV's Jersey Shore touch down in their mother country. The crew's new digs: a palatial four-bedroom house near Florence's famed Duomo, inarguably a grande step up from the awful Seaside Heights, N.J., rental that's miraculously still standing. To psych up fans, MTV has posted shots of the new property along with descriptions that read like la poesia, truly excerpts from la bella vita:
· "Smush Room that features romantic lighting, poetic wall art, sturdy headboard and easily reachable bedside drawer." (above)
· "Indoor Jacuzzi that comfortably fits two couples (and one lonesome grenade squished up against a corner jet)."
· "Outdoor deck fully equipped with multiple ashtrays, clean laundry clothespins and prime access to UV rays. Also boasts great acoustics for Grenade Whistle-blowing."
· "Gigando bathroom with exhibitionist-friendly tub and communal bidet (yes, that's the thing that washes your junk)."
· "Spacious kitchen perfect for family dining and late-night catfights."
Well, at least someone's got confidence that this season will rock!
· Go Inside The 'Jersey Shore' Cast's Italy Digs [MTV via BuzzFeed]
· Reexamining the Glorious Jersey Shore Decorating Mania! [Curbed National]
· Jersey Shore Infamous Beach House Now Available For Rent [Curbed National]