Funeral homes, more so than any other business, always seem to occupy homes, and sometimes in otherwise residential neighborhoods. And that's fine, but the trouble comes when the owners try to sell and, no doubt to expand the potential buyer pool, the house of embalming is listed as a single-family home. Bargain hunters—and ghost hunters—might rejoice, but we think most people avoid these places like the plague. Then again, most of these listings, with their sad photographs and funerary scenes, do little to market the property, so there are deals to be had. Take this would-be beautiful 1876 mansion in Belle Haven, Ohio. It hasn't been a funeral home since the 1960s, but that creepy history hasn't helped it find a caring owner. The place looks to be falling apart at the seams and the paint job isn't doing much for the historic detail. Those willing to shrug off the funeral shroud can scoop this mansion up for just $105K.
? The listing for this 3,300-square-foot Victorian in Oxford, Mass. is strangely devoid of interior photos, until the brokerbabble reveals that it is currently being used as a funeral parlor. Built in 1834, the house is a looker on the outside, save for the wide swathe of asphalt in the backyard, and one can only hope the interiors haven't been tampered with too much, especially considering the $300K price tag.
? This funeral home is being marketed as a house or as a "bed and breakfast." Yikes! The dim interior photos, taken without a flash, make the place look even gloomier than usual, which is a cardinal sin when marketing a house of the dead. The Stafford, Conn. Victorian has at least one good angle, but the rest is ruined by the parking lot. Not something we'd spend $250K on with the intent of opening a B&B.
? If that last funeral parlor was bad, this one, also listed for $250K, is almost entirely devoid of charm, has an even larger paved expanse in the backyard, and, if the photos are to be believed, is currently operating, Six Feet Under-style, as both a family home and a funeral home. The Philadelphia row house has a crude addition tacked on to the facade and interiors that aren't exactly "to die for."
? This last former parlor, located in Eminence, Ky., would be perfect for a family with kids into street hockey, if only because of the paved-over backyard. The rest of the house is wholly commercial looking, with a ramp and double-doors hinting at its unfortunate past. At least the two-bedroom house and large lot only cost $195K.
· 302 S Elizabeth Street [Zillow]
· 247 Main Street [Trulia]
· 132 West Main Street [Trulia]
· 6153 Torresdale Avenue [Trulia]
· 4323 N Main Street [Zillow]