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Hot Mess on Miami Beach's Exclusive Star Island Asks $35M

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The commodities trader-turned-South Florida redevelopment king Thomas Kramer was once called "Miami's number one sleazebag import" by the Miami New-Times thanks to accusations of sexual assault, dousing panhandlers with wine, and other such transgressions, but that doesn't mean one should judge his taste in real estate, right? Not that there's a direct correlation, but Kramer, who once said he'd never saturate Miami Beach with "ugly, ugly, any-city buildings" has, in his possession, quite a doozy himself: a nine-bedroom, 14-bathroom, 12,000-square-foot palace on celeb-studded Star Island. It's got a "gnarly gothic look," as Curbed Miami puts it, played up well by the HDR photography. Decor standouts include an enormous lion sculpture (leaping from the mantel, of course), some hard-hitting ceiling murals (including a Sistine Chapel-inspired one over the dining room table), a fur-covered bed one can only assume indicates Kramer's lair, and evidence of his extensive art collection (he once purchased a 1932 Picasso painting for well under its expected auction price). The place is asking $35M—let's only hope its Real Housewives of Atlanta cameo last year will help facilitate a sale.

· Miami Scumbag Thomas Kramer Makes Creepy Appearance on Real Housewives of Atlanta [Miami New-Times]
· Thomas Kramer's Selling His Wagnerian House For $35 Million [Curbed Miami]