Welcome to Renter Week 2012's Craigslist Power Hour! For the next full hour, Curbed National—along with every Curbed city blog—will become Craigslist central, and that means all the desperate, tenant-seeking starchitecture, nutjob roommates, things related to sleeping on a couch, people with too many pets, and cheap-rent-at-the-expense-of-dignity you can handle. Below, we're liveblogging the action, culling content as it's posted on the local blogs. Stay with us from 1 to 2 p.m. EST.
1:03: Oh boy, whenever the words "Syphilitic Brain" and "Architectural Showcase" are involved, you know things are looking up. Curbed Chicago found a dining room that looks like this:
1:05: Determined Hamptons vacationers won't be deterred by Sandy, no sirree! "If your property is NOT underwater from Sandy - we are interested," the Craigslist ad notes. They're apparently looking to spend Thanksgiving away from everything and everyone: "family is over rated!!!"
A Bedford, Mass., woman who "sometimes" wishes she had an Irish accent and time to be an extreme couponer seeks a roommate, but don't you dare bother her "if you are not female, if you do not have a steady income, if you are clean and quiet but only have 1 small dog, 2 cats, 3 parakeets, a "friendly" tarantula or 8 goldfish."
Fun fact: number of currently listed Craigslist housing posts that mention the phrase "Hollywood Sign"? 96.
? Unbeknownst to him, this fine gentleman is but one of many unintended stars of Craigslist found in the greater NYC area.
1:17: Be a house bitch in exchange for free rent! One would-be landlord expects help with "office work, planning weekend recreation activities, taking my phone calls, washing my laundry, helping me gather research," and more. Said person "also won't eat food that isn't appealing, meaning nothing that that only rabbits would eat." Sounds like a swell opportunity.
This one's right near Harvard (and probably for Harvard): "We are gamers, makers, music people, movie people, and theater people let us know what you offer to the mix. We are between the ages of 26-30. No pets or hippies. Preference given to Finnish speakers, and dragon tamers."
? Not such a bad photo as far as Craigslist goes. What's more, the rental in Springs, N.Y., provides refuge and a little Zen to "artists, writers, musicians, runners, cyclists, gardeners and individuals focused on living a consciously aware lifestyle."
? And now, Barbie furniture makes an appearance.
Do expensive apartments have better Craigslist listings? No.
1:25: Don't let this be you!
1:27: No warmongers allowed in the DC suburbs: "We are each on our own spiritual paths and enjoy both socializing and solitude. As a household, we recycle, compost, and conserve our utility usage. Our country kitchen is well-stocked with appliances including a juicer, dehydrator, microwave, and a functioning antique stove." And shelving just for kale chips, no doubt.
? It's not yet Thanksgiving, but someone is already planning ahead for next year's busy season in the Hamptons. Get a head start on it, too, by committing to $60K for the summer.
Fun fact: there are 108 apartments in the city on Craigslist right now that list Golden Gate Bridge views as a perk. Surprisingly, the Bay Bridge gets more action with 170 postings mentioning it. Ballpark Bonus: there are currently 75 apartment listings that mention the apartment's convenient proximity to AT&T Park.
? Very appropriately, the filename for this image is "feet-room-for-rent.jpg." Additional awkward and semi-shocking rentals, right this way.
Yep, this photo is happening over on Curbed Chicago right now.
Someone looking to rent out a room of his DC-area townhouse is looking for the best offer, eBay style: "This is not a joke or a gimmick or any sort of attempt to steal your info...I just want to rent out a room at a fair price!"
New York is a tough town, so tough, in fact, that it'll cost $400 a month to sleep on someone's couch. Don't worry, though: it's "very comfortable as I have personally slept on it."
1:49: Yo homies, someone in San Francisco has this to say: "I AM AN AWESOME WINGMAN," "I'VE GOT HOOKUPS," "I EAT CONSTANTLY," and "I FUCKING LOVE ANIMALS!"
Your mom is renting out her house on Cape Cod: "This is not a party house, it is a very quiet neighborhood right near the police station."
Holy lord, someone in Boston wants $85K a month for this sad sack of a parking spot. Don't worry though, "it's a great investment, the space pulls in over $300 a month in rent."
1:58: A Brooklyn one-bedroom would like to tell you about your dreams: "Did you know that you forget approximately 95 percent of your dreams? Or that you spend about six years of your total lifetime dreaming? Dreams can be fascinating, exciting, terrifying or just plain weird. Learn more about some of the things that researchers have discovered in these Men do it. Women do it. Even babies do it." It continues.
Drumroll, please. The most expensive apartment for rent in San Francisco is a two-bedroom townhouse in the Marina, asking $30K a month. That's right, folks, for thirty grand you can get two bedrooms in the Marina. Oh, and there's a strict NO PETS policy. I's being marketed as a luxury America's Cup Rental.
Finally, folks, do give the Los Angeles Real Estate Listings Magic 8 Ball a good shake.