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From the Onion

From the Onion Radio News: Arizonan Michael Zigler has developed an unhealthy habit since purchasing a home in Buckeye: "a new and seemingly endless fascination with molding." Says Zigler's friend: "Now, suddenly, he's lecturing me on the pros and cons of cavetto versus peak molding. I wish he'd shut the hell up about wall niches and go back to watching Stargate SG-1."