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Bonkers Brokerbabble Nearly Sells a "Lovingly Restored" Home

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Here now, From Curbed Marketplace, highlighting an intriguing real estate listing from the many thousands of properties found in the Curbed Marketplace. Browsing the Marketplace and spot a property worthy of being featured? Send it to the tipline.

If there's anyone who's qualified to take real estate text into the realm of the literary, it's people with graduate degrees, which is why it's no surprise that this four-bedroom, three-bathroom home near Austin was just put on the market by a University of Texas architecture prof—at least that's according to the tipster who sent in the listing. In truth, it's a beautiful place with some equally beautiful words. Ahem:

"Needless to say these properties don't come around very often. This property is your personal sanctuary that connects humans, horses, and gardens physically, visually, and aurally. Black and white equine coats inspired the property's non-color scheme and visually connected interior spaces and inhabitants to their reason for creating the home. Dark stain penetrates the wide plank larch floors on the ground level connecting the house to its black-land prairie sight. The unstained maple flooring and green accent color scheme on the second floor is inspired by the adjacent palo verde and mesquite tree canopies." "The house will sell quickly no doubt, no thanks to the hack listing agent and her poetic stylings that show she’s read three too many bad 18th Century romance novels," according to the tipster, and indeed that seems to be true: the property is listed on Zillow as "pending." (Which means, fans of Blake and Byron, the sale could fall through and it could be again up for grabs.) Original ask? $324,900.

· 9004 Thaxton Road, Austin [Zillow]