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Here's a Selection of Absurd Statements About Dog Houses

Today the New York Times runs exactly 309,483 words about high-end dog houses: the world's most extravagant ones, the most architecturally advanced ones, the one Frank Lloyd Wright designed, and so on. As you can imagine, exactly 309,482 words about such a topic are utterly ridiculous. Here now, the best lines:

· "Take, for instance, the Palladian-style mini-mansion that Glenna and Ed Hall bought at a charity auction three years ago for about $300. With Jeffersonian columns that match the ones on their home in Roanoke, Va., the two-foot-tall doghouse makes a perfect accent for the garden."

· "'We bought the house because it looks a lot like our house,' said Mrs. Hall, 66, a retired interior designer. 'Maggie's never been in it. She's a house dog.'"

· "'Half our clients say, Hey, we'd like a replica of our home for the dog, and half say, This is the dream house we've always envisioned but couldn't afford in real life—like a French palace for the French poodle.'"

· "For the supermodel Rachel Hunter's showpiece doghouse in the Los Angeles area, Ms. Pollak supplied hand-painted wallcovering dotted with pawprints and bones, as well as framed pictures of dogs. Her business partner, a builder named Alan Mowrer, installed wrought-iron light fixtures and terra-cotta flooring. 'Alan had to hand-make every tile of the Mediterranean roof,' Ms. Pollak said."

· "The average price of their doghouses is about $5,000 or $6,000, she said, though it's not unheard of for people to spend north of $25,000."

· "FormaItalia, a division of the Italian furniture maker Chiavari, sells lacquered indoor kennels and pet beds that can be suspended from the ceiling. Denhaus, a company in Seattle, makes dog crates disguised as household furniture. The Townhaus, a square wooden table, doubles as a holding pen for naughty puppies, and the BowHaus, a circular silver cocktail table, can hold drinks on top and a dog inside."

· "Barbara Dalhouse, president of the Roanoke Valley S.P.C.A. in Virginia, keeps her Hobbit-style wooden doghouse inside because it is 'too beautiful,' she said, to put outdoors. Carved from a log retrieved from a swamp in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, the 50-inch-tall shingled hut is topped with an acorn and 'looks like a gnome would live in it,' she said. But the sole resident is a stuffed squirrel."

· "Hugo, a white French bulldog in Mill Valley, Calif., has a similar attitude toward his eco-doghouse, a designer structure complete with a green roof."

· "Jessica Auria, who runs Rockstar Puppy, says she has sold a couple of them to celebrities, including one with heat and air-conditioning that can be controlled by an iPad."

· "Working with Barbara Thulin-Joyce, an interior designer, she created a doghouse for Jenni Farley, better known to fans of 'Jersey Shore' as JWoww. The doghouse, which they gave to Ms. Farley as a marketing promotion, is now advertised on the Rockstar Puppy Web site for $12,000, complete with matching hot-pink beds and miniature fabric drapes with jeweled pink tie-backs."

· "'I've got all kinds of really great ideas that I want to do for doghouses,' said Ms. Thulin-Joyce, who runs a pet décor boutique called Decadent Digs. 'Music that comes on when the dog walks in,' she said. 'And windmills on top.'"

· Luxury Doghouses and the Dogs That Couldn't Care Less [New York Times]
· Extravagant Doghouses Suited to the World's Most Expensive Dog [Curbed National]
· All Dog Houses coverage [Curbed National]