First listed in May 2011 for $2,395,000, this five bedroom, five and a half bath "Nantucket Classic!" has been off and on the market ever since. Two pricechops have brought the listing down to the current $1,999,000 ask, but something tells us the price really isn't the issue. With 3,386 sq. ft. of patterns on the walls, the floors and the over-sized furniture, it's most likely the No Chintz Left Behind decorating style that's causing this in-town property to remain unsold. The place is one antique shy of ending up on a special rich folks episode of "Hoarders." There's too much toile, a plethora of plaid, glaring gingham, florid floral prints, dizzying drapes, absonant artwork and recrementitious rugs (we heart the thesaurus).
According to the brokerbabble, "This historic home has been tastefully and carefully set up to accommodate multiple generational fun." We doubt the younger generation is allowed to be as free-range as they'd like with all of those Staffordshire plates on the walls, tables and shelves. Not to mention the bird cages and wicker furniture that have been strategically placed around the indoor pool in lieu of a "no running" sign. The exterior is deceivingly plain and there's nothing garish about the gardens on the .12 acre lot. Of course, Nantucket's strict building code doesn't allow for such things so that stands to reason. A storage unit and some white paint would sell this place faster than another pricechop, but that's just our meaningless opinion.
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