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Hey, Nice Bathroom, Said No One Ever: Asking $3,299,000

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To balance out the sexiness of Hottest Week, we'll be featuring rather hideous houses, which should help with the site's chi. If you see a garish, gaudy or ghastly listing, feel free to send it to the tipline.

Perhaps this Marstons Mills bathroom was stylin' back when house was built in 1981. Perhaps not. According to the listing, the house was "completely renovated in '91." Whenever the architectural crimes took place, the statute of limitations has run out and we can no longer prosecute. The bathroom may have received some compliments at some point, in the same way one might compliment Crocs. Of course, the same could be said for all 6,200 sq. ft. of this "impressive home," the priciest listing in Marstons Mills.

Although it's mainly location that leads to a luxury level asking price (the Cape luxury market starts at $2 million), we always hope that there's some actual luxury involved (multiple gift wrapping rooms, hydraulic sushi bar). If a property is rather hideous, the listing photos tend to focus on the views and location. Not so much for this place and for that, we are grateful. Here, even the motel furniture and phones stuck around for the photo shoot. We plebs can get away with not hiring a stager, and apparently, so can owners asking $3,299,000 for a "stunning multi-level contemporary waterfront home."


· Listing: 61 Cedar Tree Neck Road, Marstons Mills [William Raveis Real Estate via Zillow]

· Nice Crocs [Someecards]

· Our That's Rather Hideous Archive [CCC]