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Behold: Five Utterly Bizarre Recent Craigslist Housing Ads

It's been a while since the "most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived" and the guy who offered to become a pet dinosaur in exchange for housing emerged ever so grandly, beautifully into this world, but a recent onslaught of nutso Craigslist ads proves that yes, the crazies are still out there. All hope is not lost. Keep the faith, people, and below, find the five wackiest recent Craigslist housing ads, culled from cities across the country.

1) One-Half of a Queen-Sized Bed

Although the Craigslist San Francisco post has been removed by its author, at one point it advertised the ability to share a queen-sized bed with a stranger for $450 a month. The offer also included "limited shared use of the kitchen," according to Curbed SF.

2) "This is intended to be a Playboy/Sororiety [sic] house"

Recently a frat type took to Craigslist DC in search of not only roommates, but "attractive ladies ages 18-35." He described himself as an "educated male yet very social and fun-loving male," and this wordsmith envisioned a living situation where "everyone keeps their hands to themselves an respect everyone else's boundaries." The room would cost $295 a month and, uh, "All races invited."

3) "I can claim that you are my girlfriend"

$600 a month is bargain-basement low for a "sunny 15.5--foot by 9.5-foot room racing a residential street" in Manhattan, but recently one Craiglister tossed in an unusual stipulation: "if I can claim that you are my girlfriend then you can more easily room with me—which is why this offer is only available to females." Then: "WE DO NOT HAVE TO BE ROMANTIC AT ALL. Just look like a couple in front of the landlord and his wife! NO HOLDING HANDS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT—just kind of appear to be a couple every now and then, that's all!" Oh, and the catch: "No visits allowed except family on occasion by prior arrangement," you must be silent at all times, and "I have final say in any disagreement that may (hopefully won't — ever) arise, except as stipulated in this ad or in the agreement we will sign." There's an "agreement," you see, so this must be super-legit.

4) Rent the room of a former Washington Bullets player

Another gem from Craigslist DC: someone's looking for a suitable partner who's been "tearing up the city every since" he left college and is into "basically just fun twenty-something things." According to Curbed DC, there's a "giant mirror to admire yourself in if that's what you're into," and a snazzy gym to keep that mirror in use, apparently.

5) "Want some chill bros to room with!"

The full post, right here, courtesy of Curbed Seattle:

· It's Tough Out There, But at Least He's Not Asking For Sex [Curbed SF]
· Guy Seeks Several Hot Chicks For Roommates, Plans to Keep Things Platonic [Curbed DC]
· Pretend to be my Roommate, and other Strange Craigslist Stipulations [Gawker]
· Dude Seeks Like-Minded Cool and Vain Dude For Roommate [Curbed DC]
· Bro-Roommate Criteria in Woodinville [Curbed Seattle]