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Decoded: the Most 'Functional' Listings in the Country

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Welcome back to The Brokerbabble Glossary, where Curbed takes a word or phrase that shows up repeatedly in listings and deciphers its true meaning. Ideas? Hit up the tipline.

When the word "functional" is used in real estate listings, nine times out of then it's describing a floorplan, and it's never entirely clear what that means. What is a "functional floorplan?" Is it, for instance, a series of rooms that serve different purposes all connected with hallways? Because that just sounds like every house. What would be really interesting would be a nonfunctional floorplan. "Second bedroom located on the roof, accessible via climbing up chimney. Kitchen a short drive away in a swamp. Great original detailing!"

One would hope that this goes without saying, but—oh, God, were those just show toilets in all the other listings?

Don't sell this pool short. Haven't you seen Lords of Dogtown?

Do your business in the garage, just like you've always dreamed of.
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