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Ten Amazing Lines From the Angriest Listing of All Time

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A Detroit woman whose home was invaded by a squatter last October—she "involuntarily became the squatter's roommate," as Curbed Detroit puts it—is flying the co-op, having listed said home for $35K. Unsurprisingly, she's not a happy camper about the whole ordeal and has taken advantage of the opportunity to rant, often without punctuation, in the listing. Read the 10 best lines below, and check out the interior photos of the property—a "beautiful historic home" with a "very classy dining room," in the owner's own words—on Curbed Detroit.

10. "Could be a good investment depending on the city of Detroit if it improves of not."

9. "This makes the house not insurable so it needs to be a cash sale only."

8. My child and I am living in the all wooden attic until we can clean it out or if the city will help us. You can take a look if you like the health department checked all the house and said the attic is lead free until I can get the lead out of the other parts of the house."

7. "There is an sunroom which needs to be reconstructed or removed on the back of the house."

6. "Before you bring children here you have to be aware that there is lead paint. Although we qualified for grants to take it off the city never gave it to us."

5. "Also since this is a historical home with good quality items it is a target by local criminals who the police won't arrest and they go around Detroit stripping homes."

4. "They are running property tax payers out of Detroit in order to financially ruin the city and the police are aiding them and not helping property owners."

3. "Only true Detroiters know how to live with such problems because they are familiar with it."

2. "One of the beams has rotted."

1. "This is why the mansions are so cheep in Detroit!"


· Historic Mini Mansion [FSBO via Curbed Detroit]