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Buy Orlando Bloom's Scandalous All-Black House for $4.5M

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Oh man, there is just so much to talk about with this property on the market in L.A. for $4.5M: it's owned by sexy elf/pirate Orlando Bloom and his nigh-equally famous model wife Miranda Kerr, it's the very same place that stirred up quite le scandale when Bloom, upon purchasing the four-bedroom in 2007, painted the entire thing black, it was burgled in 2009 by L.A.'s now very famous Bling Ring, the "group of privileged local kids who liked to break into celebutante houses for funsies and profits," Curbed LA once wrote, and it comes with some of the worst brokerbabble west of the Mississippi: "Emotional, Peaceful, Tranquil, Serene, the sensations one feels upon entering this 3/4 acre awe inspiring totally private compound," it begins. "As the wood gate opens, you are engaged by lush ferns and mature foliage en route up the long relaxing driveway to a different world full of light filled wonders."

"Double honed walnut doors greet you and invite you in to this amazing and truly special one story home offering a wonderful flowing floor plan. French doors open out to special private enclaves with beautiful mature landscaping. A warming fireplace is comforting in the custom cherry/walnut kitchen complete with arched high ceilings and windows that look out to the dining patio with built in barbecue. The master suite opens out to the lush pool area complete with swim machine and spa. Meandering gardens complete the scene accompanied by a beautiful loggia for afternoon tea or evening city light views. Security cameras and complete privacy is key to this location. A truly special property." But, uh, apparently not, because Bloom and Kerr had little luck finding somebody to rent the "truly special" house in August, when the pair floated it on the market with a $16,500/month ask. That's not to say there's no reason to be optimistic about a quick sale—at the very least there's been an uptick in trendy all-black houses lately.

· 2645 Outpost Dr., Los Angeles, Calif. [Redfin via Redfin Blog]
· Orlando Bloom Rents Out Black Bling Ring House For $16,500 [Curbed LA]
· A Pair of All-Black Houses Duke it Out in the Death Cage [Curbed National]