Have a look at The Broker Bodega, a freshly penned Tumblr that asks the gripping question: "What if NYC apartment brokers ran a bodega?" Here, the most effusive and unreadable brokerbabble—the kind of stuff that requires its own glossary—gets translated from apartment-speak to, uh, descriptions for Charmin Comfort toilet paper and Listerine. Take, for example, the apt caption for SpaghettiOs: "O-BABY! UNDER MARKET VALUE SPAGHETTI WITH CHARMING O-SHAPE! ~*~ SPACIOUS, EAT-IN CAN ~*~ ORIGINAL, PRE-WAR RECIPE!!! ($4750)" This and more, below.