Another day, another completely absurd San Francisco housing ad on Craigslist. On par with the "most kickass fucking roommate that ever lived" is an ad searching for someone to pay $1,400 a month in a shared apartment. The blog UPROXX originally spotted the post and later deduced that "the author intended it to be more than a little sarcastic and tongue in cheek"; in Gawker's words, it's the "most annoying Craigslist ad ever" and "perfectly encapsulates everything that's so obnoxious about San Franciscans." Purposeful or not, points are due for having a way with words and describing ever so poetically an apartment that's probably pretty unremarkable, all things considered. Here now, in no particular order, the 10 best lines:
8. Stepping into the newly remodeled kitchen, Marina asks if you would like to taste some of the kale smoothie she just made?it is surprisingly delicious.
7. Smiling and sighing to yourself as you look in the mirror, you whisper, "Today is going to be a beautiful day!". That's just like you. Always so positive.
6. We're both work hard/play harder types—Kyle is constantly going for rides on one of his aforementioned bikes, and when I'm not working I'm at concerts.
5. It's so sunny and everyone is smiling as they walk their dogs or push their adorable and well dressed children in their strollers. Why is everyone so happy? What is this place?
4. Sitting up, you hear the jingle of a bell—it's Bambina the cat, scurrying towards her food bowl.
3. Minutes later, Kyle walks past with one of his many bicycles. You wish him a nice day as he heads out the door to his job at an ad agency.
2. You wave to Fred across the street, and walk over to Piccino's for a quick cappuccino before heading to the bus stop.
1. If you are serious about being considered, please reply to this ad with a bit about yourself. Who are you? What do you do? What makes life worth living?