Whether you live in a ski town, or just look like you do (that fur coat isn't fooling anyone, fyi), spring break is generally the alpine equivalent of one of Dante's Circles of Hell. Sure, we love the economic boost, but insane lift lines, rookie drinkers, squirrely frat dudes, traffic, and being unable to get a seat at the local pub are all a bummer. That's why we've provided you with some handy survival tips for the onslaught.
1. Hit the slopes early. College kids unused to drinking at altitude sleep in.
2. If you still feel compelled to do après ski or go on a bender, avoid watering holes advertising 2-for-1, Ladies Night, or $2 tall-boys. Unless you like feeling really old.
3. BYOL. Packing lunch instead of hitting the mid-mountain dining facility means more runs for your buck, and low lunchtime lines.
4. Be extra-vigilant. More skiers on the slopes—many of whom are likely gapers, drunk, or both—means an increased likelihood of a collision.
5. Be patient/empathetic. If you're going out on the town, whether you're a local or visitor, know that you're going to have a wait ahead of you. Breathe deeply, be polite, and tip well.
6. Don't pull local attitude. It's obnoxious, even to other locals. Especially when you just moved to the mountains from Florida three months ago.
7. "The ____is that way." Get used to answering the same questions ad nauseum. Be nice. Don't send them in the opposite direction just for spite. You've been a tourist, too.
It's your town. Respect it, and encourage visitors to do the same.