There have been few times when the phrase "including all the furnishings" has ignited more potent feelings of both terror and delight than when used to describe for this four-bedroom listing in Bratenahl, Ohio. As if the '70s-patterned kitchen cabinetry, faux stucco walls, random Greek columns, fake marbled powder room, and frescoed hallway isn't enough hideous Mediterranean bang for the buyer's buck, interested parties can also pay handsomely, if they choose, for the fake plants and Provence-style farm accoutrements in the secondary entrance, the dozens of claw-footed furnishings—"World-class European antiques contents," as it were—and what looks to be one sweet wicker coffin in the "massage room."
All this effusive decor—plus the many, many more finds to be spotted in the listing photos, above—took owner and decorator Christopher Axelrod some 28 years to accumulate. In total, all of the items found in "the very special interior concepts of this one-of-a-kind expression" supposedly add up to $875K in value, which brings the apartment to $645K unfurnished and $1.5M furnished. The home was, after all, featured on HGTV, and the brokerbabble even calls the place "the favorite tour destination for thousands of visitors, celebrities and dignitaries." And, well, brokerbabble never lies.
Yet it would Axelrod's true calling is as a master of ceremonies, and the promotional video above highlights his "amazing custom jacket collection" and, halfway through, some shots of a riotous party held in this Cleveland pad. Here, watch: