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Attack Of The "Portabello Mushrooms" In Steamboat

The internet is going hog wild over this one. The innocuous police blotter of Steamboat Springs, which usually posts simple ski-town troubles like DUIs, stolen snowboards, and poached hot tubs, got a bit more outrageous last Friday. Among the incidents listed - a imbibed gentleman upset that a bar owner took his keys and a young lady taking her clothes off to skinny-dip in a pond next to a school - was this peculiar tale (in case you can't read poorly-photographed newsprint above): "10:05 pm: Police received a call from a woman who said her juvenile granddaughter was at the ski area last week and ran into a person who was selling bags of what she thought were portobello mushrooms dipped in chocolate for $30. Police said the granddaughter further informed her grandmother that giraffes were chasing her down the hill after she ate the mushrooms." Of course, the only way any juvenile would think of calling their grandmother and fooling them into thinking they innocently bought a bag of choco-portabellos off some ski bum, and that that was the result of their hallucinations about giraffes on the slopes, would be if they're on mushrooms. Nonetheless, we can all appreciate this entertaining facet of small-town life, being that all occurrences involving the police, no matter how ridiculous, are recorded in the newspaper. One point for journalism.

· The Record for Friday, April 19, 2013 [Steamboat Today]