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Want a UK Pad? Let's First Address the Elephant in the Room

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On the market in London's ritzy Chelsea neighborhood, this five-bedroom house boasts some rather splashy interior decor, including silver-and-hot pink crushed velvet, a fluorescent sign (it reads "superficial"), a mysterious pale-pink tufted contraption (either for pilates or for sex, maybe), and, taking up most of what looks to be the entryway, a giant elephant sculpture—because, duh, nothing says "welcome to our humble abode" quite like a pink, doily'd iguana and a smiling paenungulate. Or—who knows?—maybe the store was all out of giant glimmering apples.

Anyway, owner Amanda Eliasch is quite pleased with her handwork: "I totally modernized it," she tells the WSJ, whose coverage, by the way, does nothing to address the actual elephant in the room. "Interior designer"—and aspiring popstar—"Nicky Haslam thinks this is the most romantic house in Chelsea." As far as the house itself goes, the 3,304-square-foot place brags a full-floor master suite, a gorgeous 58-foot garden, and "stunning views," per the brokerbabble. The ask? £9.25M, or $14.2M.

· Cheyne Walk, SW3 [Aylesford via WSJ]