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Ten Amazing Things That Can Go Wrong at Five-Star Hotels

Yelpers rant about just about everything, from Ikea to John Lautner buildings, Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater to real estate brokers. So what does the highest court of public opinion have to say about the country's "best" hotels? Turns out quite a lot can go wrong when you pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars a night. The best Yelp reviews, below.

The Ritz-Carlton New York, Central Park:

"Not only did Brian fail to deliver on either of his promises, the room was tiny. our daughter slept in a crib in the bathroom, and our son on a roll away in the center of the room. It was almost comical. Except that it was slightly humiliating. The TV was broken, the phone was broken and one of the lamps was broken. Turn down skipped us somehow the first night, and all calls for repairs went unanswered." [Tina C.] The Pierre, NYC:

"They gave me a keycard to the wrong room and I walked in on a lady coming out of the bathroom. Never had that happen to me before. Hope it never does again." [Rizwan A.] Fairmont Chicago Millennium Park:

"They:
—double-booked our room
—gave our non-smoking room to someone who came earlier in the day
—only had one smoking room left in the entire hotel
—would not give us any benefits in return (except breakfast - which we had already booked at a MUCH better place weeks in advance as well)
—left stains, hairs, dead flies and dead mosquitos on our beds - AND the types of hairs that shall not be named in our tub

—and then charged us an extra $70 (which they didn't tell us when we left, I had to find it on my credit card bill, and call them to have them remove the unwarranted charge)" [Helen D.] Hotel Del Coronado, San Diego:

"Want to know what we did get? A room across from the ice machine. Guess what that is like? Every couple minutes, DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA as another bucket is filled. Want to move? Sorry, resort full. Next problem, all the rooms in this tower (which looks like an old Holiday Inn or something) have adjoining rooms where the adjoining door is made out of cellophane. We could seriously hear our neighbors blow their nose, fart, tell their kids to brush their teeth and a very nice, patriotic WT moment when they did a USA chant on the 4th. SHOOT ME. Again, switching rooms would not help, they are all like this." [Josh S.] W Minneapolis, The Forshay:

"one time a staff was trying to deliver something to my room.( i was not aware of it) I was taking a nap at the moment, in my deep sleep, i heard knocking sounds, but i was so tired, the knocking didn't wake me. then a loud snapping sound made by the security lock startled me, and i quickly wrapped on my robe and went to the door. as i opened the door, i saw a staff quickly RUNNING away from my door. later he came back and told me he was just trying to deliver something. but really? you just come in?!! and when you realize someone is in the room you RAN?!" [Jennifer C.] The Cincinnatian Hotel, Cincinnati:

"I was reading the good and bad reviews while dining to a very mediocre salad last night. I ordered room service this morning. I didn't know it would come with a surprise...MOLD SPORES. the English muffin was fine as was the peanut putter I assume, bit the 2 jars of jelly expired 4 months ago. I opened it to see a huge mold spore and was disgusted. The front desk, when told, useless Ken at the desk said "okay", took it away with no apology, adjustment to my bill or any gesture. A call to the health Dept is in order" [Adam B.] Canyon Ranch Hotel & Spa, Miami Beach:

"As I'm changing a cleaning lady parked a huge towel bin right behind me. I uncomfortably slip into my robe with the limited space I was left and walked towards where they have the water treatments. Once I got in the aqua lounge I was lost, there was no one round to give me a tour or show me how each water room worked. I was so irritated at this point that I went straight to the "relaxation" room until my time for the massage came up and skipped the aqua treatments. The music in this room was really loud and there was a rattle in one of the air conditioner vents that was also extremely loud. Defiantly no relaxation going on here. The masseuse called me in a and to make a long story short after 2 hours of massage I walked out of there limping, literally! Hands down worst massage ever! I repeatedly asked the guy to go softer and he would progressively start massaging harder and harder until I had to stop him again because I was in so much pain. This happened over and over again about 5 times. I was dying for it to be over! At the end he massaged my feet and did something that made my foot cramp so bad I limped all the way up to my room..." [Natalie Y.] The Clift, San Francisco:

"So the next morning we go to the restroom and take a shower. At the top of the shower curtains, I see blue underwear draped over the shower bar. I pick it up and realize they are men's Hanes briefs. They were certainly not mine. Disgusted, we threw it aside and called the front desk to complain." [New P.] SLS Beverly Hills:


"They did not tell us that they allow pets in the rooms at the time we made the reservation and when we checked in and paid for the rooms. They do not tell you that the previous occupancy in your room included a pet. I love pets but not in my bedroom. I found out because of the 2 circular stains on the carpet and the smell. They claim they wash and shampoo the carpet every time? Do you believe this? I don't! Secondly, the tiles in their shower is black! What that does tell you?! That you would not notice if the house keeper forgot, skipped or didn't disinfect the floor. [...]They took our money and then they told us that they will be doing fire alarm testing which included a very loud siren in your room above your bed that will rupture your ear drums! We had to leave the room and stay outside from 11 to 5 p.m. for 2 days. And this was during our Thanksgiving vacation." [Scheherezade S.] · All Hotels Week 2013 posts [Curbed National]