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In Laguna Beach, it's Really High Time for a Listing in Rhyme

There aren't many interior photos of this 3,000-square-foot house, asking $23M in Laguna Beach, Calif., but where the visuals lack...words attack! The below chunk of listing text threatens to make brokers all the world 'round up their wordsmith game, so that they, too, get their 15 minutes of fa—OK, sorry, let's just let the brokerbabble do the rhyming:

"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room. Space gluttons and possessors missing intimacy in bloom. Fashion above the fray and vulgarity of wealth display. Privacy, senses heightened, walking on water everyday. Behold the surround and ever changing interplay: Cumulus, clear blues, cliffs, caves, sea rocks and ocean spray. Power on the point, perched above cove cradled bluffs, surf and sands. Bathing in the soulful infinity of the sun's warm hands. All around Herons, Gulls and Egrets seek the sky. Adoring trees offer branches and watch them fly. Joyful dolphins jumping, involuntary sigh. Teensy-weensy wavelets gently lapping on shore, Calling birds of all manner to hit the dance floor. Big wave sliders skilled balance, ride and harmonize. In the curl vortex views that can tell you no lies. In the half light of hillside homes aglow and echoing moon, Grace, pivotal epiphanies, humble heart strings pulse and swoon. A lone palm surging skyward beckons at South end. Listening lips whisper dreams to a wanting friend. Distant eyes of beach passers by smile beguiled and inspired. Conducting oceanfront orchestras, not hungry or tired. Feeding on the majesty of Mother Nature's bounty. Own this setting supreme in the whole of Orange County." · Undisclosed Address, Laguna Beach, Calif. [Redfin]