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$18M Buys a Bit of Tuscany and a Whole Lot of Crazy in Texas

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Have a nomination for a jaw-dropping listing that would make a mighty fine House of the Day? Get thee to the tipline and send us your suggestions. We'd love to see what you've got.

Location: San Antonio, Texas
Price: $18M
The Skinny: A hugely ostentatious mansion built in 2002 has been on the market for nearly a year, waiting for someone to take it to the boatloads of money dance, or more specifically, the "drop $18M on a San Antonio home" sock hop. Just how overwrought are we talking? "One could be forgiven," reads the listing, "for momentarily mistaking this magnificent property for a palace in Tuscany or a mansion in The Hamptons, such is its visual impact from almost every angle." There's a grain of truth to the first part, in the same sense that Olive Garden's Tuscan Trio Lunch (which some folks quite enjoy, and more power to them) can be traced back to Tuscany.

Sited on 29 acres of "impeccable surroundings," in Hill Country Village, the most affluent community in the San Antonio metro area, the home encompasses 23,000 square feet of hand-scraped hardwood floors, "locally quarried fossil stone walls," and deeply coffered ceilings with "intricately laced" patterns. There are five bedroom suites and an apartment, plus a barber shop and beauty salon that stand out among the usual mansion amenities. On the outside, loggias and balconies overlook the pool and the Terracotta warriors stationed out on the grounds, where "miniature donkeys" (pictured below!) roam free, wishing realtors would remember they were called burros. Look it over below and see if you can identify the "modernist retreat" and the "princess room."

· 425 W. Bitters Road [Phyllis Browning Company]