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America's Three-Story Dream Closet is for Sale

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Sometimes achieving your dream is a prelude to a sort of emptiness. Could that be why Theresa Roemer is selling the three-story closet she spent $500K building? The one that got her on Good Morning America? Maybe she just ran out of closet space. (UPDATE: She wants her next closet to be twice the size of this one.)

At times like these, it's hard for a house blogger to know how to feel. On the one hand, there's the obvious vicarious excitement one feels for the next owner of this 3,000-square-foot walk-in-with-six-of-your-best-friends closet, which has a champagne bar to help you get dressed, and a clothing database for tipsily perusing all that you own. On the other, it's a shame to see someone ready to part with their dream; one that once, on its pristine white shelves, showcased a $2M wardrobe that included 60 Birkin bags and 75 pairs of Louboutins.

There's also the matter of the Houston-area home this closet is part of. It was listed today for $12M, according to Realtor.com. (Zillow sales records indicate they bought it in July of last year for just $2.5M. A $10M price hike is completely understandable, given the closet we're dealing with.) Part of the master-planned community of The Woodlands, it's big and glossy and kind of whatever.

More than $1M worth of (allegedly off-brand) goods were burgled from the home in August. Hopefully, Roemer isn't selling America's most famous closet because she feels like it failed her. Later, she opened up her closet for a fundraiser, telling ABC Eyewitness News "I'm a woman of my word, and I told everyone this closet was built for fundraising and that's what it's intended for."

Speaking to Cosmopolitan in July, Roemer confirmed that it is physically possible to copulate in this "she-cave," saying "You have to have sex in the closet! And every position too! And on the staircase and on the bar and on the makeup station." However, it makes her husband feel "uncomfortable," because "it's too clean and pretty." Probably too powerful, too.

O, hallowed three-story closet with spiral staircase, you are too clean and pretty for this world. May you always be filled with fancy things. We have reached out to Roemer, and will update this post when we learn more details behind the listing of this American landmark.


· Mansion With World's Most Famous Closet Lists for $12M [Realtor.com]