If a high-schooler learning about ancient Greece combined forces with a high-schooler learning about the Napoleonic wars, and they set their minds to building a show house, the result might look something like this perplexing four-bedroom abode in Chula Vista, California. On one side of the pool sits an incredibly kitschy 1978 home with heavy drapery and lots of faux-gold accents, on the other a giant, confusing Greek-style structure that could either be an amphitheater or a sacrificial altar, topped with nine identical statues, all looking about three years old. Similar statues of bare-chested nymphs and fountains adorn the rest of the property, which has been on the market for 333 days, and after three PriceChops, is now listed for $545K.
Inside, the breadth of the tackiness is fairly jaw dropping: the dining room has been decked out in a faux-Versailles style that practically scorches one's retinas, another seating area has a marble table, red damask swivel chairs, and two life-size figurines that look like extras from an amateur production of Robin Hood. Naturally, the bed has a ludicrous red-and-gold headboard fit for an imitation of a king, candelabras drip with crystals, and there is a random mirrored wall upstairs, which has no choice but to reflect back the severe lapses in taste that led to this monstrosity. Photos, below: