It's the last week of December and thus, time to make up a bunch of awards for the best, worst and most absurd things that happened in Cape & Islands real estate, architecture and neighborhoods. Here now, your 2014 Curbed Awards.
A waterfront abode with a dock, tennis court and views galore doesn't sound like the type of spread that would have difficulty finding a buyer, but this Orleans listing, with an absurd sunken tub in the bedroom, has managed to beat the odds. Welcome to our official 2014 roundup of the year's most tacky, hilarious and hideous homes from Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket.
Behold, the great room swimming pool. Bonus, these West Dennis digs have enough room for two families to enjoy the motel chic.
This Mashpee McMansion with "Mediterranean flair" has a lot going on and it all begins in the foyer.
Here's a Mediterranean mishmash by way of Mashpee that just couldn't seem to snag that "discerning buyer."
In Mashpee's New Seabury, this wonderfully awful Contemporary, with a street lamp-pillar-platform-master bedroom and so much more, was asking over $1 million. Really.
Bourne's eco paradise on .49 acres, an earth berm house with an indoor pool from 1986, proved Kermit the Frog right in 2014, it's not easy being green.
Speaking of 1986, here's an exemplar of Contemporary architecture "designed for the distinctive homeowner." Shocker, it's in Mashpee.
The PriceChopper loves this sprawling Provincetown unit, but the fixer-upper has yet to land a buyer. Of course, it might not all have to do with looks - as Curbed commenter pointed out, the spread has some rather hefty condo fees as well.
This Eastham kitchen has a case of shingles and then some. Asking price for the beach bricolage is still $900K.
Mashpee Contemporaries, the gift that keeps on giving.
Then again, this West Yarmouth house could be worse than all of the above combined.
Perhaps the incredible location makes up for this beachy three-room abode with a theatre-in-the-round vibe, perhaps not. Regardless, the harbor front property was asking a very Nantucket $1,900,000.
Apparently, no one is clamoring to drop millions on Asia meets Santa Fe on the Vineyard. Go figure.
And finally, here's the $7,250,000 bathroom you've been waiting for.