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Please Let Beyoncé Not Be Bidding on This $85M Garbage Home

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It would be cool if this very fake-sounding rumor turned out to be fake, because Beyoncé's taste hangs in the balance. A piece of glossy, spec-built garbage in the vague shape of a home with the ludicrous asking price of $85M was reportedly visited by Beyoncé and Jay Z in September. Now, TMZ hears the "King and Queen of NYC" are on the verge of closing a deal on the home, which, at 23,000 square feet, is actually pretty small, for a figure like that.

The sterile, boringly "luxurious" Trousdale Estates contemporary has a 16-car garage, a basement with floor-to-ceiling candy dispensers, and a bunch of really tasteless decor inside that your 15-year-old cousin who just discovered Fight Club might appreciate: motorcycles parked in front of James Dean murals, Bentley pillows on the couch, a Bugatti in the showroom, etc. It's a perfect example of L.A.'s current class of ultra high-end speculative homes, which appeal to the kind of buyer whose love for conspicuous consumption makes dropping that kind of cash a point of pride, regardless of the figure's relationship (or lack thereof) to anything real. There are sprawling, historic, beautiful estates you could get in and around L.A. for a fraction of that price.

Sales records on the Zillow page indicate the one-acre property was bought by the developer in 2012 for $12,650,000. Even if we generously suggest that the land would go for $20M today, that still means the owners think they built a home worth $65M.

It would be nice to go on thinking that Beyoncé and Jay Z wouldn't be taken in by such obvious BS. TMZ says they've visited six times, and are the highest bidders of a four-party bidding war, with an offer of $70M on the table. If there really are other bidders, hanging a fake bid from two famous people at $70M sounds like a great way to drive them upward.

The home listed in September, represented by Ben Bacal and Branden Williams. We've reached out to Beyoncé's reps, and will update this post if we hear back.

· All They Want for Xmas... Is This Sick Bev Hills Mansion!! [TMZ via Curbed LA]