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Location: Newton, N.C.
The Skinny: Many horned creatures of the wood died to bring you this home in exurban Charlotte, N.C., whose walls are festooned with disturbing displays—and that's just the cringe-worthy color palette. There are also loads of animal horns and heads balefully looking down from their perches on the "Tuscan-inspired" walls, which might make the listing photos Not Safe For Life for animal lovers or anyone with a modicum of taste. The five-bedroom, six-bathroom manse sits on a 43-acre forested estate, which boasts a garage, a chicken coop, and a dirt road (all pictured below). There's also a nifty little barn that looks homier and more inviting than the main house, which might be a warning sign for a property that's asking $2.8M. In its defense, the "villa" does have a pool, a veranda with plenty of giant empty planters/ashtrays, and a billiard room with a prominently featured painting of a bull wrapped in some sort of toga—perhaps a totem against the vengeful spirits of the dead critters impaled on nails upstairs?