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The Most Far-Out '70s Time Capsule Cribs to Buy Right Now

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Crave the sunken living rooms, eggplant upholstery, and burnt orange shag rugs of America's grooviest decade? Feel a pang of envy during Brady Bunch reruns on TV Land? If so, kick up your clogs, pop open a Tab, and take a look at some of the most outrageous time capsule homes of the 1970s. From Boogie Nights-level glitz—think retro pools, dramatic staircases, and hilariously dated wet bars—to That '70s Show-style bungalows, the homes range from charming to nostalgia-tinged to so-bad-they're-good, mainly depending on one's feelings towards wood paneling. Make the call, below:


(↑) Touted as "easy one level living with vintage '70s charm," this modest listing in Portland, Ore., looks like a dated dollhouse, thanks to its sunny yellow wallpaper, minimal furnishings, and tiny, original kitchen. After nearly 30 years off the market, the three-bedroom, 4,791-square-foot home now asks $249,900.

(↑) Just knocked down in price by $25K, this $599K three-bedroom "sanctuary" in Bermuda Dunes, Calif., was designed as the ultimate party locale by the original owner. It also offers one of the decade's coolest floating fireplaces.

(↑) On the market for the first time in 40 years this 9,422-square-foot L.A. abode asking $1.699M has managed to completely avoid any and all renovation efforts. Equal parts pastel-hued and Native American-influenced, the five-bedroom compound promises to "take you right back in time."

(↑) The brokerbabble calls this three-bedroom, 8,634-square-foot home in Phoenix, Ariz., "mostly original," with "clear architectural leftovers" from the 1970s. Most of those leftovers, it seems, come by way of the $637K Spanish-style ranch's very old-school kitchen and dining room set-up.

(↑) Characterized by its boxy build, random angular walls, and affinity for silvery ceilings, this three-bedroom, 3,162-square-foot "contemporary showplace" in Houston, Texas, is newly on the market for $225K.


(↑) Oof. Anyone willing to plunk down $489K for this Riverside, Calif., ranch must either really love frozen-in-time Jeffersons decor, or see some (deeply) hidden potential in the three-bedroom, 2,758-square-foot frame.


(↑) There's a whole lot going on in this "quintessential Gold Coast estate" in Old Westbury, N.Y., which recently made its debut on the market for $6.475M. Keep an eye out for the six-bedroom, 8,500-square-foot listing's perfectly preserved sitting rooms, oddball walls of frosted glass (it's like a hallway-long bathroom,) and a dining room that seems to whisper "the '80s are coming..."

(↑) "'Sleeping Beauty' awaits her makeover," proclaims the rather rude brokerbabble for this $1.25M home in Palm Springs, Calif. While the off-white marble floors, original wet bar, and Barbie Dream House furniture might not be for everyone, the four-bedroom home makes no offense so grievous that it merits its own listing turning against it.


(↑) Directly beneath this dull $425K four-bedroom rancher in Avon, Ind., a glorious blast-from-the-past rec-room awaits, offering all the wood paneling and shag carpeting a nostalgic buyer could want. Battleship, Stratego, and Clue (probably) included.

(↑) According to the brokerbabble, a trip to this Beaverton, Ore., property is like "like stepping into the '70s," thanks to the five-bedroom, 3,230-square-foot split-level's sunken living room and low-ceilinged "man cave." $419K buys both the home and the matching retro pool table, so get after it.

(↑) Proving once again that the rec-room is always last in line for renovation, this $530K Denver, N.C., residence offers a mix of updated amenities and self-proclaimed "cozy time-capsule" interiors, like six bedrooms each done up in an individual shade of far-out carpeting.


(↑) Called a "spectacular modern work of art original," by the Yoda-esque brokerbabble, this $1.449M listing in Palmetto Bay, Fla., still has its original multi-level living room, complete with a flashy spiral staircase. Outside the three-bedroom, 6,377-square-foot home, there's a zen garden and a wonderfully dated pool.


(↑) Not only does this $2.795M compound deliver on the "free-flowing space and soaring ceilings," it also happens to be Frank Gehry's first individual residential project. The post-modernist starchitect's 6,046-square-foot, three-bedroom design might not please all—it's heavy on weird, museum-like retro charm—but it is a little piece of history.


(↑) "If you like the 70's you will love it," promises the brokerbabble for this fully furnished $229,900 listing in Boise, Idaho. Honestly though, between the wood paneling, goldenrod upholstery, and liberal shag carpeting, the right buyer would have to love the era to even consider the two-bedroom, 2,160-square-foot residence.


(↑) The brokerbabble labels this seven-bedroom, 10,621-square-foot estate in San Antonio, Texas—originally built for architect Tom Turner—as the ultimate place to entertain, thanks to its massive "in-ground sitting lounge." Totally untouched and in shockingly good condition, the home is now asks $2.595M.


(↑) Newly on the market for $1.295M, this four-bedroom, 3,176-square-foot L.A. pad is the proud owner of one very Brady staircase.


(↑) Either this $149K home in Atco, N.J., is a spookily exact time capsule—there isn't a single modern appliance in sight—or the listing photos were taken about four decades ago. Either way, the brokerbabble isn't lying when it calls the 1,902-square-foot, three-bedroom ranch heavy on "70's roots."

Honorable Mentions:

(↑) Just a few years shy of the cut, the Villa Maggio in Mountain Center, Calif.—built in 1967—was once home to Frank Sinatra. The $4.4M seven-bedroom pad earns a spot on the list thanks to its brokerbabble-described "rustic, chalet design," groovy pool, and utterly on-point puce green shag rug.

(↑) Sure, this Atherton, Calif. tudor might have been built way back in 1928, but that buttercup kitchen is a true 1970's gem. Thanks to Bicentennial-era renovations, the $13.25M listing also offers seven prim bedrooms and a Stepford Wives-esque foyer and living room.

· The Frank Sinatra Residence [Crosby Doe]
· 49 Tuscaloosa Ave, Atherton, CA [Zillow]
· 10236 Mossy Rock Cir, Los Angeles (City), CA [Redfin]
· 20 Horseshoe Rd, Old Westbury, NY [Redfin]
· 1945 Purdue Ave, Los Angeles (City), CA [Redfin]
· 6865 SW 144 St, Palmetto Bay, FL [Redfin]
· 2660 Skywin Way, Los Angeles, CA [Redfin]
· House in Beaverton, Washington County, OR [Estately]
· 11 Rainbow Court, Garden Valley, ID [Estately]
· House in Beaverton, Washington County, OR [Estately]
· 7499 Barfield Lane, Denver, NC [Estately]
· House in Bayou Bend, Harris, TX [Estately]
· 305 SE 84th Ave, Portland, OR [Estately]
· 2380 Clifford Ave, Atco, NJ [Estately]
· 1736 North County Road 425 E Road, Avon, IN [Estately]
· Frank Sinatra's Old 'Villa Maggio' Party Pad Hits the Market [Curbed National]