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Seven Homes Promising 'the Hamptons of' Everywhere Else

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When is the Hamptons most definitely not the Hamptons? When it's in Ventura, Calif., Delray Beach, Fla., or New Buffalo City, Mich. But concerns like "geographical location" sometimes must take a back seat when there's a house that needs hawking, as brokers have proven time and time again with their use of the phrase "the Hamptons of [someplace that isn't anywhere near the Hamptons]" to lend an abode a little bit of that J. Crew photo-shoot glow. Take the five-bedroom above, for example, where we're told "Colorado and the Hamptons meet to create one of the most comfortable and gracious homes in Princeton." Could this territorial chimera have borrowed its "sumptuous" family room and exposed beams from the ski town architecture of the centennial state, and dialed in its overwhelming, erm, graciousness from the so-called cottages of East Quogue? Probably not, but if anyone is convinced, the place is that much closer to netting its $4.3M ask. Slip on those Sperry Top-Siders, folks. Up next are six more currently for-sale homes looking to cash in big-time on Hamptons envy.


↑ The promised epitome of the "Hampton's in Ventura," Calif. is also apparently a "Cape Cod luxury residence of exquisite quality and authenticity." Clearly it's hard to pick just one sunny, idyllic Northeastern vacation Mecca and stick with it, especially when the shingled siding could signal either one. Aside from a questionable level of East Coast envy, this $3.2M four-bedroom boasts "Carlisle wide plank wood floors," "Persa blue granite counters," "Paul Ramsey custom cabinetry," a "Cambridge residential elevator," and "an additional 1 car garage for that special automobile." Which, if this were really the Hamptons, would be a yacht.


↑ The Curbed NY commenters' opinions on the so-called "Hamptons of Queens" run the gamut from dismissive to dismissive of the initial dismissiveness, including such pronouncements as "Added bonus: The constant drone of bridge traffic," "surprisingly charming for Malba, which is more prone to McMansion monstrosities," and "or is it that you are just jealous because you can't afford it???" "It" referring to an explosion of floral patterns in the shape of a house, which can be had for $4.288M.


↑ This $2.7M home in Malibu ("the Hamptons of the West") is said to have been "completely remodeled from the studs up in 2006" and given "a modern designer feel." Which sounds off, until one considers the fact that many designer-graced homes in the Hamptons look about this whitewashed on the inside.


↑ Let's give new New Buffalo City the benefit of the doubt and assume that this $2.69M home on Lake Michigan, which has been "totally upgraded by its current owner" is not a poster child for why the area might be considered "the Hamptons of the Midwest." Built in 1989, this colonnade-flexing custom-build has a coral-colored interior that could be called "beachy," but certainly not Hamptonsy.


↑ This "immaculate and gated estate" in Delray Beach, Fla. is a Palm Beach County home through and through. Even if someone bought it for the $13.5M ask, took it apart, trucked it to Southampton, and reassembled it, it would forever and always remain a Palm Beach County home. The jury's still out on whether the "long dunes" outside are truly "reminiscent of the Hamptons."


↑ Congratulations, Los Angeles. You have at least one $12.995M mansion that does indeed look vaguely reminiscent of a "spectacular East coast Hamptons style home." What's more, it's a apparently "Legendary Celebrity estate" that "personifies Five Star Resort style living." · 321 Brooks Bend [Estately]
· 1210 Kingston Lane [Estately]
· Colonial House in 'the Hamptons of Queens' Wants $4.3M [Curbed NY]
· 6801 Shearwater Lane [Estately]
· 51015 Lake Park Drive [Estately]
· 3130 Antelo Road [Estately]