Though the Playboy Mansion has long been a gold standard for outlandish—if not necessarily tasteful or clean—residential pool architecture, a growing number of over-the-top estates are threatening to dethrone Hugh Hefner's pad of its waterlogged claim to fame. With secret grotto guest houses, 80-foot slides, and water-shooting cannons, these pool and patio set-ups are at once magnificent enough to make Drake shed a tear, and just about as tacky as, well, transplanting Sea World into one's backyard. Throw on a suit and dive into the most absurd backyard offerings, below:
(↑) The $27.5M Palazzo della Figlia—a "powerful and dramatic villa" in Tucson, Ariz.—offers "total privacy and seclusion" by plunking down the living room right in the middle of the pool. [link]
(↑ and ↓) On the market for $6.95M, this Tempe, Ariz., compound comes with a handful of glowing private pools, as well as its very own lazy river and secret grotto. [link]
(↑ and ↓) Currently listed for $12M—a hike up from the $6.995M it asked in April 2013—this ludicrously overdone palace in La Habra Heights, Calif., lines its garish patio in LED lights, frescos, fountains, and even an old fashioned television set. Watch a slimy, cringe-worthy video of the pool in action, this way. [link]
(↑) Another shot inside the La Habra Heights, Calif., grotto. [link]
(↑ and ↓) Once home to Britney Spears and now newly listed for $11.995M, this Malibu, Calif., estate has the best swim-up bar in town, and also hides a secret spa under a grotto and multi-level waterfall. Also, Britney swam here. [link]
(↑ and ↓) Though houses with "old-world elegance" rarely also offer a "one of a kind pool straight out of a water park with lazy rivers and a 90-foot slide," the brokebabble for this $6.998M pastel palace in Sugar Land, Texas, promises that here you indeed "CAN HAVE IT ALL!!!" [llink]
(↑) Another shot of a turreted clubhouse floating in the middle of one of the pools at the Sugar Land, Texas, estate. [llink]
(↑ and ↓) Formerly famous for its Stark Trek shrine, this $35M Boca Raton, Fla., manse also lists a pool with rocky, cascading fountains and a waterproof, life-sized chess set. [link]
(↑ and ↓) The famed 'House of Rock' in Santa Monica, Calif., made a name for itself first for housing actress Kathryn Grayson, next for hosting Great Gatsby-level ragers, and finally for its turn as a gussied-up show house. During the wild soiree phase, the epic, cliff-side infinity pool surely must have been a bit of a liability. [link]
(↑ and ↓) Thanks to its LED-lit cross-shaped pool, this astounding $78.8M super manse in Bradbury, Calif., might be the holiest home on the list. Also included? A 15-person jacuzzi (hey-o!), a two-story water spout, and "a temperature-controlled trout pond." [link]
(↑) Here's a shot of the trout pond at the Bradbury, Calif., oasis. Swimmable? Sure! [link]
(↑) Odd, tacky, and truly useless in design, this bridge-riddled pool design in L.A. wants $2.549M. [link]
(↑ and ↓) A popular locale for movies and lavish weddings—according to the brokerbabble at least—this $4.999M San Juan Capistrano, Calif., listing frames its pool with a domed gazebo, multiple waterfalls, and an outdoor room with a fire pit. [link]
(↑ and ↓) The listing photos for this $6.288M Covina Castle are dismal, but the backyard water world—complete with a lazy river, jacuzzi, multiple waterfalls, and water-shooting cannons—is simply not to be believed. [link]
(↑) Back in 2007, Michael Jackson had allegedly made plans to purchase this $16.5M Las Vegas retreat, perhaps intrigued by the mysterious, brokerbabble-described poolside "dog villa" on the patio and the guest suite tucked behind a manmade waterfall. [link]
(↑ and ↓) Officially the largest residential pool in the world, this El Campo, Texas, "tropical getaway" measures in at 9,000 square feet (filled with 750,000 gallons of water) and has a six waterfalls, a 21-foot slide, a 500-foot lazy river, a bar, an outdoor kitchen, and a kiddie area. [link]
(↑ and ↓) Forget Hef, the true king of residential pools is none other than Drake, whose Hidden Hills, Calif. Yolo Estate comes equipped with an 80-foot water slide, a "a grotto affixed with flatscreen TVs and flame-belching iron torches," and a fleet of massive elk statues. [link]
· All Pools posts [Curbed National]
· All Outdoors Week 2014 posts [Curbed National]