Decades later, perfectly preserved '80s real estate continues to infiltrate the market like a pack of unleashed gremlins—and while not every buyer can appreciate the enduring beauty of circular teal sofas, hints of neon, and a closet-sized computer tucked away in one corner, for those who can, there's a veritable trove of perfectly preserved time capsules one can most definitely call home. Pop open a Surge and scroll through a decade's worth of gems, below.
(↑) Besides its fabulously overstuffed furniture, glitzy mirror/chandelier combo around the bathtub, and general commitment to matchi-matchiness (to use the official industry terminolog) the best thing about this five-bedroom, 5,470-square-foot Shorewood, Minn., estate is (no doy) its next-level carpet game. Agree? Snap it up for $648,900.
(↑) Listed for $425K this Columbia, Md., home has all 1,872 square feet of its original '80s goodness intact (not a single renovation!) and boasts a rec room straight out of a John Hughes-era teen party.
(↑) Here to prove (once again) that florals can indeed be intimidating: this five-bedroom, 4,953-square-foot home in Pacific Palisades, Calif., wants $3.3M.
(↑) This four-bedroom, 4,155-square-foot equestrian property in San Juan Capistrano, Calif., hopes for $1,689,800, and offers a one-two punch of wood paneling and exposed brick. All the decor choices in the marbleized bathrooms are also pleasingly passé.
(↑) When it comes to this 11-bedroom, 6,600-square-foot relic in Cambria, Calif., the $1.75M ask is either some sort of joke, or the listing photos are severely hurting the case for the dated former bed-and-breakfast. Either way, 1983 was apparently not a great year for real estate.
(↑) Called a "magical retreat" by the brokerbabble, this $3.15M Encino, Calif., estate proffers 6,494 square feet of old-school soap opera "glamour" in the form of a double height, mirrored dining room, a dramatic conversation pit, and two bedrooms fit for Alexis Carrington.
(↑) Hoping for $599,900, this two-bedroom, 1,818-square-foot bungalow in Mission Viejo, Calif., goes for absolute authenticity with not a single piece of furniture purchased post-Reagan.
(↑) On the market for $1.985M, this Nokomis, Fla., home's interiors "reveal a case study in the décor of 1985." Look out for "much-vacuumed deep-pile white carpet, dining chairs with casters, variegated sofas that deaden the mind by deploying the full spectrum of soothing, snooze-inducing pastels, and polyester quilted bedspreads that come in both varieties: floral and not floral."
(↑) Congratulations, $4.5M Nokomis, Fla., listing, there are truly no words to describe your 5,590 square feet of period-specific perfection.
(↑) Fiendishly preserved by the current owners—who might be the Cosbys themselves, from the looks of it—this $1,211,800, 4,096-square-foot manse in La Habra Heights, Calif., has four flouncy bedrooms, an oddly tiled fireplace, and a pastel-hued sunken living room.
(↑) Highly averse to anything modern (or tasteful!) this tidy $574K four-bedroom house in Highland, Md. looks like your least favorite grandma's house.
(↑) On the market for the first time ever, this 6,434-square-foot, four-bedroom estate in Mission Viejo, Calif., corners the market in devotion to dusty rose decor and asks $960K.
(↑) There are a whole of different style elements going on in this four-bedroom, $1.688M home in Diamond Bar, Calif., but for obvious reasons, its the shiny pink bedroom that really stands out.
(↑) Also eye-searingly pink? The kitchen in this $5.495M Mclean, Va., mansion. According to the brokerbabble the six-bedroom, 5,933-square-foot spread has never been renovated.
(↑) And finally, a two-bedroom Spicewood, Texas, cottage for $250K to usher in the '90s.
· 30155 Hillside Ter, San Juan Capistrano, CA [Redfin]
· 2555 Macleod Way, Cambria, CA [Redfin]
· 16144 High Valley Pl, Encino, CA 91436 [Redfin]
· 23247 Villena, Mission Viejo, CA [Redfin]
· 1435 Subtropic Dr, La Habra Heights, CA [Redfin]
· 1711 Derringer Ln, Diamond Bar, CA [Redfin]
· 14201 West Sunset Blvd, Pacific Palisades, CA [Redfin]
· 1608 Clubhouse Hill Dr, Spicewood, TX [Redfin]
· 6461 Kedleston Ct McLean, Virginia [Estately]
· 2116 Casey Key Rd , Nokomis, FL [Estately]
· 4920 Sussex Place, Shorewood, MN [Estately]
· Florida Midcentury Modern in Need of a Redo Asks $2M [Curbed National]