"This is an extremely rare opportunity to become the owner of one of Germany's most beautiful historical properties," intones the brokerbabble for this medieval hilltop castle in Bad Breisig, Germany. "Over the centuries, many famous visitors have visited the castle, including the German emperor Kaiser Wilhelm, Mikhail Gorbachev, John F. Kennedy jr., Yehudi Menuhin, Alexander von Humboldt and many others." Called the Burg Rheineck, the 10-bedroom, 21,528-square-foot star-studded estate—now on the market for $21,585,507—has been completely refurbished with modern amenities (and a private pub and movie theater) over the course of the last 30 years, but still offers a watchtower that dates back to 1044 A.D., as well as a bevy of original frescoes and stained glass windows. Spread across 32 acres of grounds, the noble home is also surrounded by protective walls that "offer a level of security which has even withstood sieges and battles," so that future owners can frolic at their personal happy hour without the threat of, uh, sieges. Comforting! Take a look at the very noble listing photos, below.