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For $2M, Buy an Uncompromising Bastion of '80s Terribleness

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The brokerbabble for this slice of L.A. county real estate calls the structure a "custom neoclassical estate," but one peek at the listing photos reveals it's much more likely to be, say, the set of an L.A.-based Wolf of Wall Street and American Psycho crossover. The listing text touts the 4,444-square-foot house's "historical statues and carvings," but that's just scuffing the surface. The foyer is a shiny marbled expanse with no less than 12 white columns and a sculptural centerpiece of one Greco-Roman figure or another. (Mercury? Hard to tell.) There's also an art gallery, several million-pound crystal chandeliers, bedrooms double dipped in '70s-ish patterns, and, in the stunning prose of Curbed LA, "four glittery-disco baths." The six-bedroom listed and re-listed a lot in the last decade (at one time asking as much as $9M!) though now it could all be yours for just $1.995M.

· Garish 1980s Citadel in the Hills of Glendale is Yours For $2MM [Curbed LA]
· 950 Avonoak Terrace, Glendale [official site]