Though there's much to envy in Curbed's 2015 Micro Week run, we must acknowledge that all is not cosy and picture-perfect in the world of tiny housing. Recently, a group of Portlanders have taken to Facebook to voice how laughable the Craigslist market for Portland-area tiny homes has become. Inspired by a very sad looking purple 165-square-foot one bedroom offered for $950 a month, "That's a Goddamned (Purple) Shed" features some grade-A mock listings.
↑"Vacation in the Palm of My Hand"
"Come stay in the palm of my hand. I'll have you right where I want you."
↑"ADORABLE Tiny House (Microwave)"
"1.2 cubic feet of space space space with a rotating glass floor! Built in blinky clock, complete with a fruit basket on the roof. Co-shared with a wonderful and lively couple. Offering for $1100/mo."
↑"Great Curb Appeal"
"Cute and cozy Hawthorne charmer. Great curb appeal, lots of light, close to shops. $1200/mo. No calls after 9 pm please."
↑"Industrial Feel With Open Floorplan"
"Located near trendy 28th and Stark, this charming tiny loft features a rooftop theater for entertaining, plus a garden space so you can grow your own food! $950/month includes FREE garbage and recycling located conveniently close by! Available now, lease terms are 1 year minimum, deposit ranges from $900-$9,000,000 based on income/credit/rental history. This one will go quickly, so call today!"
↑"No Calls After Sunset."
"Tiny house off Division. Only 18 square feet. Rustic saloon and jail style with chicken coop/outhouse next door. Reduced rent of $950. No calls after sunset."
↑"Access to Nearby SE 28th Ave Dining and Burial Facilities"
"Keeping up with the Joneses just got easier. For just $950/month, you, too, can enjoy this quietly luxurious location, relaxing and putting your feet up in solitude. Natural setting, with access to nearby SE 28th Ave dining and burial facilities (once the frostbite takes hold) at stately Lone Fir Cemetery, which is visible through the naked eye. Applicants will be required to demonstrate last 30 years' satisfactory rental history. No pets or children."
↑"Vegans Only, Please"
"Elegant pied a terre at the Oregon Coast, just a few scenic miles from the Hawthorne Arts District. Perfect artists' studio or vacation hideaway, Repurposed from former use, as shown.....UPCYCLING at its best. All electric, wi-fi hookup on adjacent pole. Just 1200 per month in the offseason. possible reduction in price for minimum 3 month lease. All applicants to pay a $90 application fee. Vegans only, please."
↑"Tiny House in the Heart of Hawthorne"
"This Victorian tiny house (see it in the background?) comes with free landscaping and a guard squirrel. Great view, low maintenance. $950 a month+pet care. Mind your nuts."
↑ "Scenic Locale"
"Shared closet space, scenic locale, birds' eye view of the West Tabor area, reliable power source, nice square footage, all yours for just $950/month plus utilities. First/last, security deposit required. Be a part of this growing Hawthorne community, without so many walls and boundaries."