19th century financier J.P. Morgan was a pretty forward-thinking guy in the sense that he leveraged his massive investments to consolidate businesses, create monopolies, and dominate the railroad and steel industries, but he'd still probably pass out if he could see his former carriage house on Manhattan's Upper East Side, which now features a kitchen floor that slides out into an indoor pool. The marketing team created the promotional video you see above to advertise that fact, as well as the house's other uber-luxurious aspects, and while it definitely succeeds in that it makes us want to live there, much like a similar promo video for a San Francisco condo development, we would be remiss to not question a few things about the plot.
1) For breakfast, Gabriella appears to be preparing a salad of tomato, orange, bell peppers, lemon, and lime. Come on, Gabriella. That's not a good salad.
2) Her husband, Michael, is legitimately stuck in traffic, and very upset about getting home late, despite the fact that they have no plans (that Gabriella knows about) for their anniversary. He also texts her "Happy anniversary babe, have a nice lunch, xox" in response to her texting him three diamond ring emojis. At 6:13 p.m. We have no specific questions here, but are very confused.
3) Okay, the text messages are confusing, but the ending completely loses us. Gabriella has been planning an anniversary surprise for Michael that involves laying out a path of candles (dangerous, Gabriella!) and setting up a table and two chairs. But Michael has been planning his own surprise, by stopping to buy flowers and pick up all their friends—and, mind you, he was actually stuck in traffic, he wasn't making that up—and bringing them all to the house for a reverse surprise party. For their anniversary! Who does that ever, let alone for an anniversary? How did he meet up with all of them first? Were they just waiting outside the house, loitering on the sidewalk? Why did neither of them think it was suspicious that the other didn't want to plan anything for the anniversary? What is this couple's life?
4) What's with that guy's maroon jacket? Is he the maitre d' of the surprise party?
Anyway, this place is renting for $80,000/month furnished (or $75,000 unfurnished, in case you want to spend $75,000 per month and deal with furnishing your own rental), so... probably a bunch of moot points.
· J.P. Morgan's Former Carriage House Returns at $80K/Month [Curbed NY]
· What on Earth Is Happening in This San Francisco Condo Advertisement? [Flipped]
· 118 East 83rd Surprise, Surprise The Film [Vimeo]