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10 of the Funniest Ski Town USA Police Blotter Entries

Ski towns, by their nature as tourist destinations, are places for people to unwind, let their guard down, and indulge a little—all very good things! Get caught indulging a little too much, however, and you might make the local police blotter. Some ski town newspapers continue the old-timey tradition of printing all the day's run-ins with the police, and they often capture some visitors (and maybe some locals too) on less than their best behavior. Things can get really interesting when a large event, such as Sundance, comes to town. The Steamboat Today has a blotter that's shown up on Jay Leno's show, Gawker and others. The local paper has compiled some of the best moments and is publishing a book: Ski Town Shenanigans. Once it's available on July 3, it'll run you $15 to relive some of the weirdest moments to occur in a ski town. To give you a taste, we rounded up 10 of the funniest blotter entries from Steamboat Springs.

Those aren't portobellos
10:05 p.m. Police received a call from a woman who said her juvenile granddaughter was at the ski area last week and ran into a person who was selling bags of what she thought were portobello mushrooms dipped in chocolate for $30. Police said the granddaughter further informed her grandmother that giraffes were chasing her down the hill after she ate the mushrooms. The mystery pooper
5:38 p.m. Police were called to a report of a suspicious incident in the 2900 block of West Acres Drive, where a woman reported that she found feces in her toilet that she did not think she put there. There was no damage to the house and no other reason to believe someone had been inside the house. It's just cat allergies
4:33 p.m. A woman reported another woman walking a cat that was on a harness. The cat looked sick, and the caller was concerned about its welfare. Bear lives up to stereotypes
10:23 p.m. Police were called to a report of a bear in the 1500 block of Mark Twain Lane, where a bear apparently broke into house through a screen window while the home owners were away. The bear reportedly ate brownies, powdered sugar and honey from a bear-shaped honey bottle. The bear was gone by the time the home owners returned. Donkey fraud
8:34 a.m. Deputies were called to a report of fraud in the 14000 block of Routt County Road 7 near Yampa. A man reported purchasing a donkey from a person on Craigslist, and the man was upset because he thought the Craigslist description was not an accurate representation of the donkey. Deputies referred the man to civil courts. $1.50 to clam down
1:01 a.m. Steamboat Springs Police Department officers were called to a report of man in the 1500 block of Shadow Run Frontage who said he overdosed on Motrin. Officers contacted the man, and they believed the man just needed someone to talk to. The man also wanted a 7 Up. Officers went and got the man the drink at a convenience store for $1.50. Police said it was worth the $1.50 to calm the man down. A premonition that didn't pan out
1:45 p.m. Officers were called to check on the welfare of a woman at a motel in the 200 block of Lincoln Avenue. The woman's boyfriend reported she had left and took their car. The couple was in Steamboat because the woman had a religious premonition that there was a ranch somewhere in Colorado that was going to offer her a job. She was supposed to find the ranch, open the door at the ranch house and a cowboy would be there to offer her the job. The woman later returned to the motel. She said she went to a ranch in Yampa and opened a door at a ranch house. There was no one there, so she left and returned to Steamboat. The people staying at the ranch were told to contact police if there were any problems when they returned to the ranch. They did not contact police. What kind of how-to pamphlet is this?
9:35 p.m. Troopers pulled over a Denver-area woman on Rabbit Ears Pass for a traffic violation. They called police after they found a large number of condoms in her car, a recent check-in receipt from a Steamboat hotel and a how-to pamphlet that led them to suspect she was a prostitute. Police were unable to charge her because they were unable to locate the man involved in the alleged incident. Indecent bikini
12:34 a.m. Officers were called to a report of a disturbance at a hotel in the 2300 block of Mount Werner Circle. A man reportedly was running around in a bikini and exposing himself. A 33-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of town counts of indecent exposure. It's just root beer
3:31 p.m. Officers were called to a report of five people smoking marijuana and drinking beer near the Yampa River. Police contacted the people. They weren't smoking anything at all, and the beer turned out to be root beer. · Steamboat Springs Police Blotter [Facebook]
· Sundance Police Blotter: Goats, Jock Straps, and Paragliders [Curbed Ski]
· Updated: Mapping Where to Buy Pot In Colorado's High Country [Curbed Ski]
· UPDATED! Beers or Bust: The Best Ski Town Breweries, April '14 [Curbed Ski]