clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Every Alpine Vacation Rental Falls Prey to These 13 Clichés

New, 1 comment

Ski country might be chock full of hip, contemporary ski homes and new takes on the classic cabin, but many vacation rentals haven't quite caught up. In honor of Renters Week 2015, we've gathered up 13 clichéd decorating items that you're sure to find in ski towns from Stowe to Mammoth.

An irritating sign: We love the mountains just as much as the next die-hard skier or snowboarder, but we absolutely hate these signs that can be found in nearly every mountain vacation rental. Our least favorite of the bunch? "If you're lucky enough to live in the mountains, you're lucky enough." Throw in the corny nature photo or carved tree that always accompanies this nauseating saying and it's enough for us to run to the nearest hotel.

A bear toilet paper holder: If the above sign made you sick, you'll find no solace in the bathroom. Why? Because waiting for you will be a bear. And not just any bear. This (usually black) bear is offering you toilet paper. Beware: you could also encounter a moose or deer offering you the aforementioned TP. Just say no to all animals in the bathroom, people.

A fireplace: One of the few mountain clichés we support and a design element that has been easily modernized. Extra points for outdoor fire pits.

Antlers, antlers everywhere: We've seen antlers in the bathrooms, antlers in the bedroom, and of course, the biggest antler chandelier in the world. Apparently nothing says "ski town" quite like antlers.

Navajo print: It doesn't matter if it fits, rent a ski town condo and you'll be sure to find Navajo print somewhere. Or everywhere, in the case of this house.

Antique snowshoes or cross country skis: It doesn't matter if you bought them new in 2012, all ski town property managers love to display a pair of old snowshoes or cross country skis. It's faux alpine nostalgia at its best. Bonus points if the antique poles and boots are also on display.

An animal pillow: We only have one question: why? Wasn't the toilet paper bear enough?

An old timey ski poster: We at Curbed Ski have no beef if you are the proud owner of an authentic, antique ski poster. But 99 percent of the ski posters we see are brand spankin new.

Cowboy kitsch: No one is better at co-opting the history of the west than vacation rentals in the high country. Long live the cowboy. (Extra points if there is also cow hide thrown in).

A knotty pine bedframe: Because you're vacationing in the mountains. Did you forget?

Flannel: Ski towns have been decorating in flannel long before it was hipster cool. Even if it's summertime, expect to find plenty of flannel. Especially duvet covers. It's not a vacation until you're sweating under a flannel duvet cover. (Pro tip: the flannel bedcover might also contain animals).

This awful lamp: Don't ask why. It's just everywhere.

Bunk beds: It's of practical necessity to have a lot of beds available in a ski country rental, so it makes sense that bunk beds are the norm.

Despite this extensive list, you'll never find the two things you need most in a high country vacation rental: more hooks for your wet gear and a wine opener. Seriously, where did all the wine openers go?

What did we miss, Curbediverse? Know of any other clichéd mountain items that make an appearance in vacation rentals across North America?

· From UFOs to Tree Houses, 6 Petite Rentals Perfect for Skiers [Curbed Ski]
· Tiny, Italian A-Frame Is Free to Stay If You Climb 8,303 Feet [Curbed Ski]
· It's a Tree, It's a Wood Pile, No Wait, It's An Italian Super Hut! [Curbed Ski]
· 18th-Century Swiss Barn Revamped Into Tiny Wooden Retreat [Curbed Ski]
· Camouflaged Boulder in the Swiss Alps Is Actually A Tiny Cabin [Curbed Ski]