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Tom Selleck Has Allegedly Been Stealing Tons of Water, Probably to Water His Mustache

According to a lawsuit from the Calleguas Municipal Water District in Ventura County, Magnum P.I. star Tom Selleck has been stealing water from a public hydrant. The theory is that he's using the water for his 60-acre ranch, which includes an avocado farm, but it seems far more likely that he's been using it to water his mustache. Think about it: adult avocado trees can go without water for between 7 and 30 days, depending on rainfall and temperatures. Tom Selleck's mustache, on the other hand, is widely known to consume 800 gallons of water per week.

The Calleguas Municipal Water District in Ventura County needs to think long and hard about what's important here: surviving the drought, or stopping Tom Selleck's mustache from withering up and dying.
· Lawsuit: Tom Selleck Has Been Stealing Water From a Public Hydrant For His 60-Acre Ranch [Curbed LA]
· Did 'Magnum P.I.' star Tom Selleck steal truckloads of hydrant water? A real P.I. was on case [LA Times]