Internet person Darius Kazemi created this random essay generator called "Leaving Everywhere," which uses US Census Bureau data from 2013 to create an argument for why you are leaving [X] American city. It is the best. Everyone single one of these is pure gold. Here are a few of our favorites that we've generated, but you could waste hours on this thing.
And this Portland, Oregon one feels shockingly real:
· Leaving Everywhere [Tiny Subversions]