As you may have heard, the infamous Playboy Mansion is about to go on the market for "north of $200 million," and, as you may have also heard, the mansion comes with one Hugh Hefner, slightly used. You can't get rid of him either, as the conditions of the sale will stipulate that Hefner can remain in the mansion for the rest of his life. But don't fear—here are five ways you can design around the bathrobe-clad octogenarian that happens to be living in your mansion.
Get Hugh Hefner-patterned wallpaper
On his own, Hugh is definitely going to stand out, in a bad way. But you can really help him to blend in by putting up some Hefner-patterned wallpaper. Assuming he spends a good portion of his time sitting quietly, after a while you might even start to not notice him.
Complement him with antique furniture
If you've been looking to acquire some vintage furniture, this could be the perfect excuse. The worn look of, say, an old couch that you found at an estate sale could go perfectly with the worn look of Hugh Hefner, who is probably smoking a pipe right now.
Get him a new bathrobe
If you're not into vintage stuff, you can go in the opposite direction—but you'll need to do something about that bathrobe, which is very outdated. Explain to Hugh that the red velvet is clashing with your modern aesthetic and get him something lighter, possibly linen, to replace it.
Get another Hugh Hefner
Although having one Hugh Hefner lying around the house might seem like a burden, there really isn't enough that can be said for symmetry. Asymmetrical arrangements can throw off your entire balance, so try recruiting a second Hefner to stay on the opposite side of the room from the first one and mirror his movements.
Build a labyrinth
This is a pretty extreme measure, but you could take your cues from King Minos of Crete, who just could not figure out a way to design around the Minotaur that came with the island. He ended up commissioning an underground labyrinth in which he imprisoned the beast, and if you were to do the same directly under the Playboy Mansion, technically it would still be part of the property. This one might be cost-prohibitive.
· Holy Smokes, the Playboy Mansion is For Sale [Curbed LA]