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An Australian Billionaire Is Rebuilding the Titanic

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In a move that is definitely not a metaphor for the desire of mankind to repeat its greatest mistakes or anything like that, an Australian coal-mining magnate, billionaire Clive Palmer, has decided to rebuild the Titanic. The ship's name? Titanic II, although 2tanic or The Titanic: This Time It's Personal would have worked as well. The plan is for it to set sail in 2018, with all of the modern safety accoutrement, of course. "The new Titanic will of course have modern evacuation procedures, satellite controls, digital navigation and radar systems, and all those things you'd expect on a 21st-century ship," said the market director of Palmer's company, before continuing, probably, "It's going to be completely—oh no, an iceberg!"

Pricing has yet to be released, but smart money says it's going to be pretty expensive, unless you win the passage in a card game right before launch.

· Titanic II, Entirely Sinkable Idea, to Set Sail in 2018 [Daily Intel]