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Ask Flipped: How Often Should I Repaint My House With Subversive Graffiti?

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It depends on where you live, and how much graffiti your neighbors have

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Dear Flipped,

I've been a homeowner for five years now. When I first bought my house, it was in desperate need of a renovation and I repainted the whole thing with cryptic anti-government graffiti. Since then, however, I have never repainted and the graffiti has become somewhat faded. How long should I go in between graffiti cycles? It seems like some of my neighbors paint new graffiti with different messages onto their houses every year, but that feels excessive to me. At the very least, though, I do want to keep up appearances.


Habitual Housepainter


Dear HH,

How often you repaint your house with graffiti depends on a number of factors, most importantly, where you live. If you're in a coastal area, for instance, your house will be exposed to more intense sun, salty sea air, and other elements, which means that the paint will be damaged more quickly, but also your neighbors are less likely to be politically radical, so there will be less pressure to keep up with them. If that's the case, you'll probably want to repaint every five to seven years.

If you live in an arid, landlocked place, the paint will last longer, but everybody's going to be a little more on edge and eager to call for the overthrow of the government. So in that situation, I'd recommend every five to seven years. At the very least, you should switch out the specific leaders that you're calling out on your garage door.

And of course it should go without saying, but if you're ever planning to sell—or even just test the market—make sure to cover your entire house with a fresh coat of political screeds and unsettling symbolism. It may seem like a small thing to you, but it can make a huge difference for prospective buyers.

Hope that helps.


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